On Being a Mompreneur

 I have been given the incredible honor and opportunity to write a content piece for this amazing organization about being both Mom and entrepreneur (aka Mompreneur).

The eloquent and inspiring invitation asked me to “show other women that wearing many hats can be trying, but always equates to joy, uplift, and love.”, in addition to “inspire the Mompreneurs who feel they cannot do it anymore … while sowing seeds of empowerment for those who many not be mothers, for fear of not being able to ‘do it all’”. 

Let’s start here.  I will not bother adding sparkles or rainbows here, because they won’t distract from what an incredibly challenging honor it is to become a Mother.

Becoming a Mom is something that has to feel personal to you.  You have to recognize the desire deep in your bones and know that once you take that step, you will never again not be a Mom. 

It is a job of loss and sacrifice that changes and challenges you in ways you could have never imagined, only to then recoup and become immensely showered in joy, wonderment, and a sense of gratefulness for the capacity to Love so deeply.

I get it; you’ve just spent the last 10 years paying down your student loans and maybe you even invested in grad school. Quite possibly, you just love what you and do and do not want to leave a career you have spent years building up.

Very valid points.  These are big decisions that should not be taken lightly.

However, who made the rule that says you cannot both be a Mother and do what you love? 

Step one, become either a Mom or an entrepreneur.  Step two, become either an entrepreneur or a Mom.  

It starts simple, but can quickly turn into frantic lifestyle.

The first thing you need to do is search your Soul for your Divine Calling.  In a very unspecific way, what is it that brings you so much joy that your heart smiles?  Some may feel the calling for teaching, working with their hands, or inspiring others.  For others, such as myself, I thrive when I know I am helping people.

These roles can take many shapes and forms, so do not limit yourself.  To feel the calling as a teacher doesn’t necessarily mean that you should begin applying to local schools.  Teaching happens in so many ways throughout the day.  Get creative and find ways to answer that calling.  For example, you can volunteer at an after school program, work with handicapped or mentally disabled persons, or set up a workshop at your local library.

In my case, knowing that I was called to be a Helper, I went straight into a graduate program for Art Therapy. It was my desire since my youth to help others understand their troubles and emotions, and my cathartic experiences with process art led me in that direction.

However, God had a different plan for my life.  Before I had enough experience to apply for a Clinical license to practice Art Therapy, I found myself pregnant mere months after getting married.  We were overjoyed!  But as a pregnant and out-of-work therapist in New York City, I had such a hard time wrapping my mind around my new role as Mom (on a very tight budget).

Okay, so I knew my Divine calling was as a Helper, and now as a Mother, but how was I to find balance with both?  

My options included: Being a working Mom and have my entire salary cover the high cost of daycare in NYC.  Or, stay at home with my baby and live, very cautiously, on one income.  We were Divinely led into option two.

As my baby girl prepared herself for her grand entrance into the world, I kept feeling the yearning inside to get back to my role as Helper.  How could I make it work?  I had to find a new avenue since nobody wanted to hire a pregnant and unlicensed Art Therapist in a sea of very reputable and licensed Therapists.

I chose to get certified as a Life Coach.  Choosing this path allows me to be home with my kids, create my own hours, decide whether or not I want to take on any new clients, and satisfies my calling as Helper.

It is not easy.  I will tell it how it is, because if this is a path you are choosing, you will need to know the whole truth.  There will be lots of work involved, mostly Self work, but that is where the greatest joys are discovered.

Here are some tricks that I have learned along the way.  

1. Be flexible - Your business may or may not succeed on the first try.  In September 2015 I relaunched my coaching business for the third time.  This time it feels “right”, which leads me to my next point.

2. Do not fight it - If things are feeling overwhelming and nearly impossible, maybe you are fighting against your Divine plan.  When you are following your calling, things will progress naturally and you will recognize the warm and fuzzy feeling of “rightness”.

3. Keep the Faith - Be in your Spiritual home as often as possible.  This could be something as simple as reading your Holy Book daily, meditating more intentionally, or attending your local congregation weekly.  Keeping that Spiritual center open as often as possible will allow you to become more receptive to the messages the Universe is sending you.

4. Know yourself - Are you a procrastinator?  Do you overwhelm easily?  Would you rather work hard now and play later?  If you can get to the core of your behaviors, you are more likely to squash the bad habits and encourage the good ones.

5. Love yourself - Something most Moms are good at is taking care of everybody besides themselves.  By creating a routine of Self-care, you are not only better equipping yourself for success, but you will teach your children the importance of Self-care.

Sit down with a pen and paper, and spend a few seconds focusing on the idea of your Divine calling.  Then, just write, and write, and write- any and all things that come to your mind.  Do not worry about punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, or paragraphs.  Just be in the physical activity of writing and streaming your thoughts onto that paper.  It is important that you use a pen rather than pencil so you won’t be tempted to erase.

This will allow your true feelings and desires to become known to you.  If something strikes a cord, you will know it.  If it does not, try again in a couple of days.

Once you feel you have a general idea of your Divine calling, begin thinking creatively about ways that you can nurture that calling while being or becoming a Mom. 

Remember to relax, enjoy the Journey, and cherish all of the memory-making opportunities along the way.

“The Journey in between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of Life really takes place.”

            - Unknown

If you would like some guidance, feedback, or support on your Journey, please reach out.  I am here to help! ; )