Do you remember your 20-something (single and childless) Self saying or thinking these things?
“I’ll never _____ as a parent.” (spank, yell, mimmic, etc.)
“My kids will want to do/play _____, naturally, because that’s what I did when I was that age."
“We will be Best Friends and do everything together!"
Have you ever gone to sleep with a heavy heart, a racing mind, and a guilty conscious about the events of the day? Are you realizing that you are becoming/have become the parent you never thought you’d be?
If this sounds like you, then keep reading for some encouraging tips!
Tips to get you closer to your ideal image of parenting:
- Slow your roll - Slow down! We often get frustrated, annoyed, yell, spank, and punish when we are moving with haste and our little ones don’t follow suit. Instead, try to be more empathetic (putting yourself in their shoes), and remember the Golden Rule: How would I feel if someone talked to, acted in, or treated me this way?
- Say “yes” more - Does it really matter if your 3 year old asks for Lindt chocolates at 8:30 AM? Well, it’s not ideal, but it won’t do any harm to just say yes! It might even set the tone for a surprisingly pleasing day.
- Fact check - Are you hungry, thirsty or tired? If so, remedy as necessary, if possible, and proceed with care.
- A side of Narcissism, anyone? - Do your rules serve you and your comforts, or the greater good of the child/family? A hard realization to make, but will change your entire family dynamic if you’re willing to do the work.
- Rephrase and Reframe - Think about supercharging a difficult situation by rephrasing your go-to warning . For example, instead of saying something along the lines of, “Please stop whining or I’m going to lose it”, try something like, “Please stop whining or I’m going to HUG YOU!” I tried this the other day and J and I burst into laughter, and the situation diffused itself. Besides, what kid wouldn’t love to be hugged rather than screamed at or lectured?!
Sublimation Coaching is not about giving parenting advice. Rather, it’s all about you, the parent, and ways to better yourself. If you would like help becoming the type of parent you would much rather be, but are having trouble becoming, then shoot me an email or text and let's have a short conversation about your needs.
